Interesting thoughts

Car alarms are one of the worst inventions. I have never heard a car alarm and thought someone broke into a car.
 
Successful people say "Follow your heart" because it actually worked out for them. Unsuccessful people don't say it, because it didn't.
 
I procrastinate because I am stressed. I am stressed because I procrastinate.
 
My Steam library feels like the equivalent of having 300 TV channels with nothing you want to watch.
 
According to most religions, God's creation is a malware-infested RPG that only pays off in the post-credit sequence
 
You aren't actually afraid of being left alone in your house, or in the forest; You're afraid that you AREN'T alone.
 
Car horns should only be allowed to be in pitches C, E, and G, so whenever two people honk at the same time it will be in harmony and traffic jams will sound like symphonies.
 
When you step onto asphalt, you are standing on a nearly unbroken web which extends over almost the entire continent
 
I will one day flip through my kid's school history book and find it strange to have been alive during some of its chapters
 
Windows 10 rebooting without permission is like your mother coming into your room, closing all the books on your desk, and putting them away while your in the middle of a massive research project. There seems to be no stopping it.
 
We go to coffee shops to drink coffee (a stimulant) to focus and expect a quiet atmosphere, and we go to taverns and bars to drink alcohol (a depressant) to socialize and expect a loud atmosphere.
 
People dismiss alien abductions as unrealistic but if we were able to go to a planet with life we totally would take some of those aliens and research them.
 
Animals that are caught, tagged and released must feel like they were abducted by aliens.
 
The only time I press the caps lock key intentionally, is to turn it off when I pressed it by accident.
 
I wonder how many drugs have failed animal testing, but would have worked in humans
 
It's 2016 and we still haven't figured out a solution to that thing that happens when you try to call someone and they go to call you back but you're calling them at the same time and no one can get through
 
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