An old man is going to an "all-inclusive" hotel. As he enters the front door, he is shocked, everyone is naked. The receptionist gives him his key and tells him that he gets all the services he wants for free as long as he is naked too. A sexy naked lady guides him to his room.
He rests a bit and then goes to the spa. As he sees naked ladies around him, his gets an erection. A lady comes to him and says that an erection means that he wants to have some sex. They go into his room where they have some fun for a couple of hours.
After he rests a bit, he wants to go to the sauna. He sees the sauna empty. He thinks " Ohh, some privacy and a little resting. ". After a while, he farts. A tall black man comes in and asks him if he called him. The black man tells him that farting is a sign that he wants to be "worked out" from behind, working him out in a second.
As the old man goes back to his room, he packs his luggage and rushes to the exit. The receptionist ask him why he's so rushed, he has a free more week to stay here. He answers " Dear lady, at my age, I got an erection/week and a 10 farts/day " .
Two cowboys in a bar. The first one asks:
-Do you see that cowboy with the brown hat?
-Which one, all of them have brown hats?
-The one with the leather jacket!
-Which one, all of them have leather jackets?
-The one with gloves and 2 guns!
-Which one, all of them have gloves and 2 guns?
Then, the guy shoots all of the cowboys in the bar, except the one that he was talking about.
-That one!
-Yea, I see him, what's the matter with him?
-He's my number 1 enemy.
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him,and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?
Here it comes ..."
A naked lady comes in a bar. The barman looks at her confused. The lady asks:
-What? Have you never seen naked women?
-I saw, but I'm wondering where will you get your money out of.
Two cops on an airport talking:
-Man, how can the criminals hijack such a big airplane?
-Are you dumb, they don't hijack it on the ground, but in the air as it gets smaller and smaller!
Sorry for the bad English... Some of them were in Romanian so I translated them...
He rests a bit and then goes to the spa. As he sees naked ladies around him, his gets an erection. A lady comes to him and says that an erection means that he wants to have some sex. They go into his room where they have some fun for a couple of hours.
After he rests a bit, he wants to go to the sauna. He sees the sauna empty. He thinks " Ohh, some privacy and a little resting. ". After a while, he farts. A tall black man comes in and asks him if he called him. The black man tells him that farting is a sign that he wants to be "worked out" from behind, working him out in a second.
As the old man goes back to his room, he packs his luggage and rushes to the exit. The receptionist ask him why he's so rushed, he has a free more week to stay here. He answers " Dear lady, at my age, I got an erection/week and a 10 farts/day " .
Two cowboys in a bar. The first one asks:
-Do you see that cowboy with the brown hat?
-Which one, all of them have brown hats?
-The one with the leather jacket!
-Which one, all of them have leather jackets?
-The one with gloves and 2 guns!
-Which one, all of them have gloves and 2 guns?
Then, the guy shoots all of the cowboys in the bar, except the one that he was talking about.
-That one!
-Yea, I see him, what's the matter with him?
-He's my number 1 enemy.
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him,and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?
Here it comes ..."
A naked lady comes in a bar. The barman looks at her confused. The lady asks:
-What? Have you never seen naked women?
-I saw, but I'm wondering where will you get your money out of.
Two cops on an airport talking:
-Man, how can the criminals hijack such a big airplane?
-Are you dumb, they don't hijack it on the ground, but in the air as it gets smaller and smaller!
Sorry for the bad English... Some of them were in Romanian so I translated them...
