Author Topic: Interesting thoughts  (Read 11047 times)

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Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1160 on: February 22, 2017, 07:23 »
The louder the volume in a horror movie, the more horror you experience. Mute it and it becomes a comedy.

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1161 on: February 22, 2017, 07:24 »
Amazon Alexa sounds more like a porn star than an electronic assistant.

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1162 on: February 22, 2017, 07:25 »
I don't like watching a series on my phone because I can't mess around on my phone while watching the series.

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1163 on: March 23, 2017, 07:21 »
As a loyal customer, I feel really ripped off when companies have a promotion for new customers but offer nothing for customers who have been with them for years.

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1164 on: March 23, 2017, 07:21 »
Airports should have small movie theaters for layovers. They would make a killing.

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1165 on: March 23, 2017, 07:21 »
If you froze an egg and threw it through somebody's window while they're not in, they would come home to a broken window and a raw unscathed egg and wonder how the hell it happened...

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1166 on: March 23, 2017, 07:22 »
Who ever started the tradition of the groom not being allowed to be present while the bride shops for the wedding dress should be awarded a nobel peace prize.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1167 on: March 23, 2017, 07:22 »
A really underrated accomplishment is that toilets don't require power to flush

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1168 on: March 23, 2017, 07:22 »
Regret is the wet sock you get from not picking up the bit of ice that fell on the kitchen floor 15 minutes ago

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1169 on: March 23, 2017, 07:22 »
Your salary is the bribe they give you to forget your dreams

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1170 on: March 23, 2017, 07:23 »
Every time I find a new favorite song and eagerly check out the artist/band for more, it turns out that's the one song that's different from the whole rest of their career

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1171 on: March 23, 2017, 07:23 »
Constantly driving stolen cars in GTA must be so uncomfortable since everyone's seat and mirrors are adjusted to the owner's liking.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1172 on: March 23, 2017, 07:24 »
If a naked woman wears sunglasses it's like she's wearing the opposite of a burqa

Offline Mave

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1173 on: March 23, 2017, 07:24 »
Pulling an earbud out when you see a friend is like the modern equivalent of tipping your hat.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1174 on: March 23, 2017, 07:25 »
George Washington led an army against Great Britain so that one day we could stuff tiny portraits of him into stripper's underwear

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1175 on: March 23, 2017, 07:25 »
Every bullet ever fired since my birth has missed me by a certain number of meters. I wonder what the lowest number is.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1176 on: March 23, 2017, 07:26 »
If you really think about it, The Wright Brothers are responsible for 9/11.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1177 on: March 23, 2017, 07:27 »
Despite doing good things, Spiderman being disliked by his city is like a metaphor for spiders eating flies but still being hated by humans.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1178 on: March 23, 2017, 07:27 »
I hate having to prove to a robot that I am not a robot.

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Re: Interesting thoughts
« Reply #1179 on: March 23, 2017, 07:28 »
Whichever drawer the birthday candles are in is the "junk drawer"...