The Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts !

Mave

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01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
 
11. Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

:tongue: Nice find!
 
We can make this the official "TMS Chuck Norris Facts List" post your Chuck Norris Fact here, if it's good enough, it gets added :T
What you think? :biggrin:
 
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
 
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't lift himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

That's what I got from a website...
 
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
 
- Removed by Check Norris, right after he rapped DaDeathgod's family while killing the entire US army with a BB-Gun -
 
BoxFever101 said:
www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

I win.

No, it's my goal to collect the best ones, not having one collection with zillions of Chuck Norris facts
 
i got good ones

"Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. "

"Chuck Norris can satisfy a woman by pointing at her with his finger and saying "Booya" "

"Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter. "
"Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff. "
"Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. "

"Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil. "
 
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