Interesting thoughts

I wish I had a Mario Kart-like ghost of myself punctually getting ready for work in the morning so I'd know if I was running late.
 
I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain until I find THE GREATEST BARBER IN THE WORLD...or perhaps just a bald dude.
 
Because telescopes work using mirrors, we'll never know if there are any space vampires.
 
Bruce Wayne's parents being murdered was the best thing that ever happened to Gotham
 
Adblock should buy out signs around time square and replace them with "This ad has been blocked by Adblock"
 
For most of human history, vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home when you were sleeping or drunk. Then we got rid of the horse.
 
If Obama was the president of Kenya, he would be their first white president.
 
I'm bored when I listen to a song from my personal music library, but when it's played on the radio I get excited like it's the greatest song ever.
 
If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mech battle between two fetuses.
 
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
 
There should be a website where you can sign up and swap your Halloween costume with another person every year to save yourself money.
 
I don't appreciate the time that I don't have a cold nearly enough as I should.
 
"I sold an hour of my life for $13" doesn't sound nearly as good as "I make $13/hour."
 
During childhood, we are told that jokes about the genital areas are adult content, but once we become adults, these jokes are considered "childish".
 
I am more responsible with the resources I have in video games than I am with the resources I have in real life.
 
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions is an affirmation of how unoriginal all my problems are.
 
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